The Fountain of Youth

This is it! If you made it, gosh thanks for sticking it out!

It has helped me to write about this situation. I keep having to tell myself it really is happening. But now I've posted about it; it is "out there." And we all know that if something is on the Internet it's real, right?

Tomorrow I'm off this dreadful topic! Really, something is happening here tomorrow worth checking out.

If you're new to this series, they stand alone, but if you want to start from the beginning:
First: The Stick Turned Pink
Second: I’m Impressive
Third: The Sucker Punch
Fourth: The Change? What Change?
Fifth: I’m the One with the Baby

Oh, dear Honey Bear, how you smell so divine! How impossibly soft you are! What cuddles you give that melt me into a puddle of goo!

Those unbelievably loud burps and the gentle snoring as your little head rests on my shoulder, rocking in the night.

Those eyes, that smile, the tiny hands and feet, that adorable giggle.

The way you enjoy your food like no baby we've ever seen, smacking your lips as you chew, saying "mmmm, mmmm" between each bite.

I call you my Honey Bear because you are as sweet as you can be and because you are so round and chubby. You are like holding and cuddling a baby bear cub.

Mommy is finished little darling. You get to be the baby.

Mommy wasn’t ready though, and I’m afraid you’ll bear the brunt of this situation. I’ll have to smell you 37 times a day instead of 27. I’ll hug you closer and longer than you’ll think necessary. I’ll watch your face ever more intently for each little nuance of emotion and wonder.

I may refuse to teach you to talk or let you potty train. I may place a brick on your head so you can’t grow any taller. I may cry a little bit extra at your milestones. Don’t worry my Bear, they are tears of joy.

You snuck in under the egg-wire little angel. How clever of you! If I didn’t have you at this time my heartache would be overwhelming.

You are my Fountain of Youth. And I thank God for you!

You will always be my baby.



(Mama is off to plot her mid-life crisis...)


BlondeMomBlog (Jamie) said...

OK Amy you have made me cry. This is such a sweet letter to your baby.

He is so beautiful. What a cutie!

You are truly blessed...thank you for sharing your journey with all of us!

Melissa Stover said...

i read all your posts on this subject and it makes me so sad. i am 37 and feeling like my time is running out. i miscarried our 4th child this march and we have been trying since then. it makes me want to stamp my foot and say damn all that wasted time when i thought i didn't want babies!

Rima said...

I think if there was *ever* a baby that was "meant to be," it's Honey Bear! He is adorable.

MamaGeek @ Works For Us said...

Oh wow, he is absoultely PERFECT. PERFECT. I so can relate to this topic (6 long years of it to be exact before getting our miracle) and my heart just beams for you!

Rachel said...

Plot your mid life crisis and let me know how I can help :-) I'm good with dark chocolate, wine, food and devious plots against humanity (husbands and children) :-) LOL!

Tears woman, Tears. I expect you to give this to Honey Bear on the occasion of either A) rehearsal dinner or B) 21st birthday.
*off to hug babies and give Thanks to God for all my blessings*
Thank you so much for sharing your struggles, your humor and your journey. You are one amazing woman.

Unknown said...

I hug my Ladybug a little closer, with the knowledge that she will be raised as an only child, although her sister is in heaven. It makes it all that more important to savor the moment!

Audubon Ron said...

Good looking baby. Love the baby smiles.

Heather said...

Adorable. That post almost makes me want to have another one. But, the thought that it could be another boy stops that line of thinking quickly.

Irene said...

Oh, how sweet! But I do have to say, as everyone knows, sometimes it takes the hard times in life to make you appreciate what you have!

My second daughter is very special needs, and has had a lot of scary issues. When my third daughter was born, and was perfectly healthy, I remember just sitting in the hospital, at midnight, after being up for 2 1/2 days straight, thinking I am so happy I am going to cry. I didn't care that she would NOT sleep her first night of her life, or that I was falling asleep sitting up.

And yes, after reading your post, I don't know if I am ready never to experience having a baby again! I think I want another! Well...maybe..

Cynthia said...

Oh, I just want to keep my little ones little...Not an option, luckily for all of us...they just get sweeter...

Heather said...

That is so very sweet.

Unknown said...

This is an absolutely beautiful post to go with a beautiful series of posts.

I want to go sniff my baby now... She's my first, but because I have a small fear that she'll be my only, I try to take in each special moment for what it is - special.

Jennifer said...

I sniff my baby so many times a day, too...my heart seizes just thinking she might be my last...

He's just adorable, by the way.

Maria said...

Hi there. Your pictures are so sweet! They make me want to have another baby! I hope my husband doesn't see this!

S said...

OK, so Honey Bear is a mini-Jack. Down to the "mmms" when eating, the delight at experiencing the taste of a new food, and the chubbiness!

We've always said that Jack'll either be a chef...or fat, LOL!

Honey Bear is adorable, Amy.

Steph said...

Beautiful, Amy. Beautiful. :)

Kate Walz said...

I really enjoyed your story! Yours is a condition that I was unaware of, but I think the wisdom of some of your insights can be applied to many situations. Thank you so much for sharing!

Nell said...

What a cutie! And I also really enjoyed reading your story, and I hope that writing about it really helped.

J. A. Blackburn said...

So sweet. I just read through all your posts on this and... wow, what a journey you've been on. I feel for you.

Anonymous said...

I know this is a little after the fact, but I call my only son "Honey Bear", too! (and Sugar Bear) Your post made me cry at work...I am 40, will be 41 SOON and I am wanting another baby soooo bad! I don't think my husband does, though. My time will be coming to an end soon, though, so I better start persuading him HARD! Your Honey Bear is absolutely adorable, as is mine, but he's 4 now (almost 5) and the new baby-smell is wearing off!

Don Mills Diva said...

How is it that I just found and read this entire series?

It's wonderful - you have expressed yourself beautifully...

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