Stop! No! Don't take us to Disney World!
What kid doesn't like Disney World?
We went into the Magic Kingdom, walked around for a while, ate a hot dog, and left.
Who does that? Glances around Disney World and LEAVES?
Reason #1: A cold front was coming to Florida. We had the
stupid brilliant idea to go to Disney the day the cold front hit. I read in the Unofficial Guide to Disney 2008 that January and February were light crowds. That fact, coupled with the cold, would make for really light crowds. Sound logical?
Well, Holy Mother Mouse Ears! Where is Global Warming when I need it? It was FREEZING! Here's a Disney tip, free of charge: they do not sell hats, gloves, scarves, mittens, parkas, or fleecy throws even on the coldest day of the year, no matter what you are willing pay. And there is no where NEAR enough indoor seating at any cafe or restaurant. We sat on the ground in a weak patch of sun to eat hot dogs it took 45 minutes in line to get and drink hot chocolates to keep our innards from freezing.
Reason #2: The place was PACKED. The Unofficial Guide fails to mention that the first week of January is not included in "January and February have lighter crowds." Still being part of the holidays I guess, there were 3.7 million people there. People in flip flops. People without coats, wearing shorts. And these blue, under dressed people would.not.leave so that we, shivering in our layers of long sleeved clothing, could ride something.
Another helpful tip: Disney is NOT FUN when there is a minimum 80 minute wait on everything in the freezing cold with a five-year old who thinks Disney is stupid and a baby with a double ear infection. You will ride nothing.
Reason #3: As to this Disney-hating kid of mine, turns out it is Disney's own fault for not strapping on a pair when marketing to the boys.
Because of Disney's highly successful (read: shameless and boundless and endless) peddling of all things princess to the nation's little girls, my son goes to school with classmates who are addicts; princess OD is everywhere he looks. He therefore totally associates Disney with all things pink, princessy, and girly.
Once I realized he was in no way excited about Disney, I developed a strategy, because that's the way I roll: Head for Adventureland and Pirates of the Caribbean, and then on to Frontierland for Big Thunder Mountain Railroad. To say nothing of Space Mountain. You know, the guy stuff. I had a map. I knew exactly what to do to hook him.
He just wanted to go back to the hotel and swim thankyouverymuch.
(We did go to Tom Sawyer Island and spent about a hour exploring which Shark Boy enjoyed. At the Fort there are guns you can shoot at the passing riverboat. Big hit. (There's a strategy for you Disney, if you want the boys back, guns!) And we got to do the Swiss Family Robinson Tree House, which he was duly impressed with. That's all folks. (Oops - Looney Tunes crept into my Disney.))
Walking past the Castle I exclaimed to Shark Boy, "Look! A real castle! Isn't it amazing?"
"It's stupid," he said.
"Do you think Cinderella lives there?"
"Maybe a dead one. Can we go now?"
After wandering around for a couple of hours, me longingly looking toward Fantasyland, with it's real live Hundred Acre Wood and Peter Pan's Flight, and Dumbo the Flying Elephant, we ducked into a large Space-themed eatery in Tomorrowland to get more hot drinks and thaw out.
The boys warmed up and finally got REALLY REALLY EXCITED about DISNEY WORLD!!
This is just the best vacation ever...slobber...
Wow! Disney World is so amazing...snore...
And then there was the thing with the police and the man-of-war...