Dear Lord, Bless the Scorpions

Reposting this one 'cause I thought it was funny.

Six o'clock Mass this evening went something like this for me.

The italics are sung and the small font is whispered out the side of my mouth.

Holy, holy, holy Lord, God of power and might, scorpions have a stinger instead of fangs.

Heaven and earth are full of your glory. They hunt at night.

Hosanna in the highest, some scorpions can go a year without eating.

Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord. They eat insects, spiders, centipedes, and rats.

Hosanna in the highest. Yes, rats. I know their mouth is small.

Hosanna in the highest. They are found in warm parts of the world.

That's it, now you just look at the pictures! Aaaaaa mennnnn.

Reading to a 5-year old during Mass.

Sometimes you leave church praying "Dear Lord, I hope that counted."

(For even more funny stuff visit Jenny at Absolutely Bananas!)


Hillary (Mrs. Einstein) said...

Yes, Lord; please bless them. And the children that insist on bringing books about them to church. And the Mommies who are obligated to read about them aloud during church.

Soooo funny!!!

Anonymous said...

This is why I adore you. LOL

I have a little bit of something for you at my blog, and you probably have already received one, but I couldn't think of anybody else I'd rather give it to.



Sister Honey Bunch/Judi maloney said...

Love it. I play tic tac toe during Mass. I almost always lose since I'm trying to take in some goodness from the Lord, but once in awhile I gotta go for it.

MommyTime said...

I am laughing out loud. I've never been here before -- just found you through Absolute Bananas -- but I will have to come back after that excellent story. Thanks!

Cynthia said...

That was my parents when we were kiddos:)

JCK said...

This IS funny. We have amazing sermons at our church, but sometimes I find myself drifting...just like you!

My mom called yesterday after visiting my sister and her family for the weekend. They all came home from church and my sister asked my niece what she had learned that day. "Oh...Lasagna, Oh...lasagne"...she thought Hosanna was "oh lasagne"!!

Sara said...

been there too, except not scorpions, but a book of animals that had my then 22 month old exclaiming COW MAWMEE COW, DOGGIE, DOGGIE, KEEKEE, HORZ!!! through the entire service. IT was christmas service too, the people sitting around us where in stitches.

Unknown said...

This is awesome! LOL!

Bananas said...

I SOOO love this.

MamaGeek @ Works For Us said...

Oh I love THIS. And yes of course, that totally counts! IT better, or I'm in trouble. :)

Nora said...

Of course it counts! (and I have absolutely no authority on the subject). Very funny.

Anonymous said...

Silly me. I was thinking Scorpions - like the 80's rock band.

Bless them too.

Rosie said...

Brilliant! Reminds me of the times my 4 year old has started talking during mass just when it all goes quiet, and she is usually saying something like "Mummy that man behind us has got funny hair!"

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