Shark Goes To Work

This morning in the car, as per usual, Shark Boy was watching my speedometer. He vacillates between wanting me to pass people and be ahead and get there faster, and concern about the speed limit.

He asked me how policemen knew how fast cars were going; how do they know who to give speeding tickets to? So I provided a brief explanation of radar guns. Stupidly, I over explained (why can't I learn not to DO that?) and said something about Daddy's beeping thingy that he uses on the windshield - how it's a device that gives you a warning beep when there is a radar gun nearby.

"Isn't that like cheating?" he wanted to know.



Well, kid the answer to that would be "yes" technically, but the cops cheat when they hide under the damn overpasses so it's all even-steven, yo.

I mumbled something about sort of cheating, but really just a warning beep, and hey! look at those -- those -- hills!

He had to come to work with me this morning for a few hours. Last days of summer vacation + no sitter today = NOOOO MOMMY HAS STUFF TO DO!

I bought supplies: two sea life puzzles, coloring books, markers and crayons, and play-doh. And post-it notes (he loves them). He was really pretty good. But multitasking is still required at a level only a mom can even contemplate.

While I'm typing e-mails, on the phone (with finger to lips to indicate "one peep from you and you've HAD IT), working on a report, etc... there is a running commentary and or request list and or WHERE ARE YOU AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING?? stage-yell from me.

Sample --
Him: "I'm trying to color this passenger plane. I need you to Google "passenger plane" so I can see the colors."
Me: "Make it whatever color you want."
Him: "I really need to see it. "
Me: "But, it's your plane. You can make it whatever color you want."
Him: "I don't know what color this plane is supposed to be."
Me: "Fine." (Googles. 2 seconds later...) "Here. See?"
Him: (Studies several photos.) "Thanks."

(2 minutes later...)
Him: "I need to see it again."
Me: "No. I'm working."
Him: ...
Him: I really can't remember what color the wing stripe is."
Me: "Honey, Mommy's busy."
Him: ...
Me: "Daddy will buy you ice cream if you stop interrupting me."
Him: ...
Me: (He's not going to let this go...) "OK, one more look."

And so on. He wasn't being bad, just being 6.

Look at this. Look at this again. Can I have some tape? Do you have a crayon sharpener here? Can I climb up onto your window ledge and stand up at the giant plate glass windows on the 4th floor of this old, old building that who knows if I lean on it it may just fall out of the window hole? (NOOO!) Look at this! Can I go to the bathroom again? Do you have any more snacks? Look at this. What makes Mexican jumping beans jump? Can you spin me in this chair? Are you popular here? Whatcha doing? Look at this! Is your work always so boring?

When's Dad coming?

When. Indeed.


edbteach said...

Oh my god! This is exactly how it is when I take my kids to work too. I am a teacher and so I drag them up there during the summer when I am working on getting my room set up.

I just found your blog from Swistle - the title caught my eye. I was laughing so hard at your post to the airline!

Unknown said...

My daughter who is almost 3 has started in the look ats, the why's, and the whens... all makes for interesting and albeit frustrating conversations/days since her daddy is in Iraq. At any rate your blog has definately put a smile on my face. Thank you!

Anglophile Football Fanatic said...

Take your son to work day, eh? At least he didn't do what I was famous for: I'd jam TONS of office supplies in an envelope & get the postage stamper to put the stamp on...then pull it all out. My dad finally caught on...after about $20 in not used postage.

Unknown said...

LOL! I remember those days. My son is a whopping 8 years old now and he prefers to ignore me most of the time.

BlondeMomBlog (Jamie) said...

I took Miss A to my office back in May and it was the last time I took one of the girls. She was honestly pretty darn good, but I got an e-mail from my "neighbor" in the next office and GRRRRR it pissed me off.

Come to think of it, why don't you bring Shark to my office and I'll bring Miss A and we'll just "visit" for an hour or two and really distract my co-worker. ;)

Yeah, because she said when I bring my kids in to the office (which honestly is RARE) that she and others found it distracting.


She's single. No kids.

Cynthia said...

I can't even imagine taking my kiddos to a work environment...so wouldn't work!

JCK said...

You are a brave, brave soul. And the patience. Oh, yes the patience required...

Anonymous said...

Kids are the best/worst back-seat driver, aren't they? Our family has millions of kid-as-back-seat-driver stories.

Jacquie, to fellow driver: "Go ahead."
Girl: "What did you do mommy?"
J: "I told that guy he could go."
G: "I don't do that."
J: "You don't?"
G: "No."
J: "Why not?"
G: "I don't like menses*.

*note: "Menses" is the triple plural of man. Man, Men, Mens, Menses.

Anonymous said...

Oh, WOW. We should put Shark and my Princess in a room together. She's just about to turn 6 and is so much like what you just describe.

I work from home. Mostly with a sitter, but each and every day I have at least 30 minutes of the same type of conversation.

I'll miss it though when school starts in a couple of weeks.

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