This morning in the car, as per usual, Shark Boy was watching my speedometer. He vacillates between wanting me to pass people and be ahead and get there faster, and concern about the speed limit.
He asked me how policemen knew how fast cars were going; how do they know who to give speeding tickets to? So I provided a brief explanation of radar guns. Stupidly, I over explained (why can't I learn not to DO that?) and said something about Daddy's beeping thingy that he uses on the windshield - how it's a device that gives you a warning beep when there is a radar gun nearby.
"Isn't that like cheating?" he wanted to know.
Well, kid the answer to that would be "yes" technically, but the cops cheat when they hide under the damn overpasses so it's all even-steven, yo.
I mumbled something about sort of cheating, but really just a warning beep, and hey! look at those -- those -- hills!
He had to come to work with me this morning for a few hours. Last days of summer vacation + no sitter today = NOOOO MOMMY HAS STUFF TO DO!
I bought supplies: two sea life puzzles, coloring books, markers and crayons, and play-doh. And post-it notes (he loves them). He was really pretty good. But multitasking is still required at a level only a mom can even contemplate.
While I'm typing e-mails, on the phone (with finger to lips to indicate "one peep from you and you've HAD IT), working on a report, etc... there is a running commentary and or request list and or WHERE ARE YOU AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING?? stage-yell from me.
Him: "I'm trying to color this passenger plane. I need you to Google "passenger plane" so I can see the colors."
Me: "Make it whatever color you want."
Him: "I really need to see it. "
Me: "But, it's your plane. You can make it whatever color you want."
Him: "I don't know what color this plane is supposed to be."
Me: "Fine." (Googles. 2 seconds later...) "Here. See?"
Him: (Studies several photos.) "Thanks."
(2 minutes later...)
Him: "I need to see it again."
Me: "No. I'm working."
Him: I really can't remember what color the wing stripe is."
Me: "Honey, Mommy's busy."
Me: "Daddy will buy you ice cream if you stop interrupting me."
Me: (He's not going to let this go...) "OK, one more look."
And so on. He wasn't being bad, just being 6.
Look at this. Look at this again. Can I have some tape? Do you have a crayon sharpener here? Can I climb up onto your window ledge and stand up at the giant plate glass windows on the 4th floor of this old, old building that who knows if I lean on it it may just fall out of the window hole? (NOOO!) Look at this! Can I go to the bathroom again? Do you have any more snacks? Look at this. What makes Mexican jumping beans jump? Can you spin me in this chair? Are you popular here? Whatcha doing? Look at this! Is your work always so boring?
When's Dad coming?