5/24/09

I Felt So Bad and Then It Was Fine

Friday night I took Shark Boy to see Night at the Museum. He hadn't been feeling well and I thought it would be a nice treat. He was excited about it all day, from his perch on the couch where he sat refusing all offers of food and walks on the beach. (Shark refusing to go down to the beach is enough to make me call an ambulance.) On our way out the door Bear ran up to me saying, "I ready too! I ready too!" He so wanted to go with us. He started to cry when he realized he wasn't going. I picked him up, handed him to Mr. P and said, "Take him before he breaks my heart." I felt so bad. Shark Boy didn't want candy and popcorn at the movie, only a small Sprite. (!!?!!) But on the way out of the theater, at 10:00 p.m., he wanted a Nerd Rope and I said no. He argued a little over it. I had to stop at Walgreens on the way home and he argued about getting candy there. He was just slightly (and uncharacteristically) sassy with me all the way home. Once we got home he started up again, in front of both of my in-laws, and I'd had it. I didn't yell but I pointed at him and did the mean face and told him, "I Have Had It Knock It Off Right Now." He went into the corner and hid, crying. I got ready for bed, and then found him under a table in the hall. I sat next to him and talked for a minute about backtalk and the importance of listening blah blah wondering if he was hearing the voice of Charlie Brown's teacher. I tucked him into bed (crying still - he's my sensitive one) and I laid down in the twin bed opposite him for the night. I felt so bad. (It was his fault, but I felt so bad.) I laid in bed thinking about how awful it felt to have to leave Bear out, and how wretched it was that my special night with Shark ended with him crying in bed next to me. The next day dawned with smiles for me from both of them. Of course. The kiddie emotional rollercoaster is quite a ride, eh? PS: Nerd Ropes - Gag.

19 comments:

Loukia said...

Oh my gosh, I can totally relate to this post. I have the worst case of mommy guilt you've ever seen, seriously. I feel bad going to work everyday even though my boys are being cared for by their own father - and my mother - and my mother-in-law! And seeing my baby boy sad when I heave breaks my heart. And having my oldest son get upset with me and CRYING? Yup, I'm totally emotionally and I feel terrible... but like you said.. the next day, all is forgotten! That is great that you were able to be so firm with him. I wish I had that in me! I don't do good with saying 'no'!

Ellen Stewart (aka Ellie/El) said...

One of my friends just told me that good parenting is harder on the parents than the kids.

Sounds like you're a good parent by that definition.

Amy said...

Loukia and Ellie - I was good this time but I am not always. It's really hard!

Pop and Ice said...

Children can be manipulative and use talking back and crying to get what they want, but sometimes they just aren't feeling well or tired, and it's best to ignore ALL of it and do what is right.

We dwell on our words and actions and feel waaaay more than our kids do and it's not worthwhile putting yourself through such self scrutiny.

purejoy said...

can't all moms relate?? i hate having to discipline. now i know what my parents meant when they said, "this hurts me more than it hurts you." yeah right, i thought.
why does it hurt so much? do we worry about crushing their free spirit? their little personalities? do we feel like a minor failure as a parent?

who knows. all i know is that it stinks to do the responsible mom-thing only to have it result in your child's sadness.

i'd love to tell you that it will get better. but with two almost 20-somethings, i still hate to see that pout.

buck up, mom. you're normal.
and so is your kid.

the sandwich life said...

oh good lord, isn't it though? The other day I was saying to my husband how hard it was to be cheerful when one of the guys was sad and he pointed out that I just may not make it through the teen years....

but how was the movie?

Amy said...

Pop and purejoy - I have also realized what little ups and downs me and my sister put my parents through! (This post was about a standard issue minor parenting moment IMO.)

Having a 20 year old, believe me- I fully realize this is the small stuff. At the same time, I did honestly go to bed feeling bad about my evening.

I know it can't be rainbows and puffy hearts and Nerd Ropes 24/7. heh.

Amy said...

sandwich - He really enjoyed it and there were some very funny moments. It wasn't as good as the first, but for a kid movie it's very tolerable for the grown-ups. Amy Adams was super cute. It got a little too complicated there for a while, but overall, your kids will like it.

Pamela Kramer said...

Ah, you poor thing! Don't you hate it when they both cry at the same time and it's like crying in stereo? ugh.

Nap Warden said...

They do bounce back, don't they...I hate when they go to bed crying:( I'm sure they will be mad at Mommy in the morning...and they wake up like nothing happened...

Nap Warden said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Nap Warden said...

Sorry...I double posted:P

Michele Renee said...

I bet he was super happy to have had that date with you. I took my 3 to see the movie on Sunday. You're nice to offer popcorn or candy. I am bad and take in own candy....

kristi said...

Ugh...we have lots of days like this.

And who thinks of these crazy candies?

Auds at Barking Mad said...

What's the deal with Nerds anyhow? My 19 year old STILL loves them. If I catch her introducing them to Gaby, she's done!

For as much emotion as there is with girls, I think there is just as much with boys...maybe more subdued at times, but it's still there.

And Ellen Stewart up there is right...good parenting is harder on the parents than on the kids. No truer words have ever been spoken!

Beautiful post Amy...this is one I'll come back to often to remind me to take a deep breath.

Amy said...

Michele - I usually smuggle in candy too, but we didn't have time on this trip. They wanted FOUR dollars for the Nerd Rope!

Marinka said...

so, so true. Except I suspect that I'd love Nerd Rope. Does it come in bacon flavor?

Tiaras and Tantrums said...

oh the momma guilt - gets you every stinking time!

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

Yup, very much a roller coaster ride. I'm kinda ready to get off now...

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