Sitting at my desk at the end of the work day I suddenly realize:
I can finish whatever I'm in the middle of even if it takes another hour.
I can go get my nails done.
I can go to a movie.*
I can go shoe shopping.
I can go have coffee with a friend.
I can go home and paint the bathroom.
I can go home and read my book or take a bath or drink Mint Juleps or just go straight to bed.*
It's really WEIRD. I feel free and relieved of some pressure, but also at loose ends and kind of bored.
My boys have been traveling with my parents and won't be back until Friday. Eleven days. It's a long time without my boys.
I think I should have enjoyed it more, but it sort of sucked the energy out of me. I expected to stay busy getting things done that children underfoot prevent (like painting that bathroom), but instead I've counted the days until they return - bustling and shoving and Bear standing in the dog's water dish and Shark carefully lining the edge of my Jacuzzi with a triple row of plastic sharks while SpongeBob and Patrick blare in the background.
Messy, loud, and stressful. And I miss it.
I miss them.
I want to squeeze this chub.
Because I've not been able to figure out how to get off the dime with this discomforting freedom, I now have to cram a bunch of stuff into the next 2 days, including birthday party planning and painting that darn bathroom.
Next year I want them to be with my parents for 2 weeks and not at camp/day care but one week of it might have to be here at home. Or near here, so I can visit.
Being able to do whatever you want for more than 2 consecutive days (when not on vacation) is overrated.
*The only things I actually have done.