8/26/09

I Want My Own Room!

A corner of a room even, just big enough for a comfy chair, a table, a small bookcase, and a computer. And a door. I would take that, just to have a place that's mine.

Do you have a place? Not your office at work, not your kitchen or bedroom or butler's pantry or whatever - those are shared spaces. Is there a place that is yours?

I don't have a place, and suddenly I feel a need of one.

I have always used the bathtub as "my place." I like to read in the tub and it helps me unwind. (But even my bathtub is not private. Our house is an open design - so our bedroom and bathroom are just - open. No door. Except on the little potty room, which I call a Water Closet. Half the time the kids are running in and out, offering me toy sharks to play with, and the TV is blaring.)

Besides, I need more than a tub. I do try to write now. I'd like a desk with a pretty lamp, and wallpaper with birds on it, and maybe stuff that's PINK or trimmed with pom poms for gawd's sake - I am a GIRL. (And obviously a 12 year old girl.) I want a drawer where I can file my things - cards the kids give me, Cub Scout paperwork, magazine clippings, and receipts. I want to hang some of the pictures I take.

In the last two years I've felt this increasing need for quiet time. Sometimes when I'm writing, at the computer in the family room, and the kids are yelling and playing and banging and asking me questions every 2.3 seconds, I think I'll scream. I want to drag the computer into the laundry room and close the door. I could still hear them, but they couldn't see me and they'd leave me alone for longer increments.

I don't know - I think it's bad when Mommy wants to hide.

I also want a place to pray. At home. But in quiet aloneness where I can relax and oh my goodness maybe, possibly, not be distracted by 1001 other things. (And be free to fumble with my Rosary cheat sheet in private.) Would I pray more if I had a room of my own? All I know is I am looking for a way to regularize and deepen my prayer life and I either need or want some solitude in which to do it. So the answer is I don't know but it couldn't hurt.

Where is your place? Or maybe the question is, how do you re-charge?


Photo snagged from this home office decorating article.

20 comments:

Audrey at Barking Mad! said...

My oldest son just moved in with us and took my place. I'm trying not to be resentful, but it's hard, with everything else going on.

Alas, there is going to come a day, in the very near future when Meg leaves for basic and her room will be Matt's and I will reclaim MY SPACE! I hope anyhow. The Universe and the Powers that Be may dictate other things happen, but if everything comes together I'm taking my space back and TOTALLY making it MINE!

That sounded kinda selfish, but you know what I mean!

Broccoli Cupcake said...

I so get this! I would love to have a space all my own. Especially one where I could decorate with girly things and colors. I just asked my husband yesterday how he would feel about me making our master bath a little more feminine. He didn't seem to care. I just want one room in our house to be "pretty". And I definitely need a door! Maybe 2 or 3 doors between me, the questions, the wrestling, and the rowdiness that is boys.

Heather @ Not a DIY Life said...

Oh girl, I feel ya! My laptop sits in the living room where the toddler's toys reside so that I can attempt to write while she's playing. Most days I can't even go to the bathroom without her following me and wanting to TALK! I can't even use the facilities in peace!

Yes, a chair with a table. A quiet place to pray and meditate. And just BE. I want to just BE sometimes, ya know? I get so tired of DOING all the time. I just want to BE.

maggie, dammit said...

I remember a time, maybe eight years ago, when the desire for my own room was inescapable. I used to dream about my room, spend hours sketching it and making lists and decorating it in my mind. About five years ago, completely out of the blue, my husband announced he was adding a room onto our house because he was tired of tripping all over my books. And he did.

I say keep dreaming. Or praying. Or whatever it is that's sending that wish out into the universe. It will come back to you.

Amy said...

Heather - I know the "just be" thing. Mostly in the form of my once a day in-my-mind pleading "Just let me BE!"

maggie - What a great story! You are lucky!!

Amy at My Chaotic Bliss said...

I, too, can relate. People might think we sound selfish or like bad moms, but I think we'd all be better moms if we had a place we could get away from it all for a few minutes a day. I cherish my children, and the time will be here too soon when they move out, but I need alone time too--and doing the laundry and going to the grocery store don't count!

*~* Jenni *~* said...

I thought I was going to have my own space when I FINALLY convinced my husband to turn the spare bedroom into my home office. I moved my desk, books, scrapbooking stuff-- everything-- from the basement, made a sweet kick-ass space all for me... until he decided it was so nice he also moved HIS STUFF in there, too.

Oh well...

Meredith said...

You've seen my house--I have a similar lack of dedicated space. The laptop does work wonders. I can move it wherever no one is (at the moment).

As for prayer, I use the laundry room and a very great MP3 by Father Groeschel called The Rosary Is A Place.

Nap Warden said...

I want a place of my own...I don't have one. Best I can do is lock myself into my bedroom. Usually this leaves two toddlers banging on the other side of the door...so not so peaceful:(

laura @ peacoat said...

i don't think it's selfish or bad to want a space for yourself! i think everyone desires that, kids included.

obviously i know nothing about your home, but just the tiniest desk or comfy chair can make all the difference in the world. even having just one cute or decorative item (like a box for your keepsakes, or a lamp like you mentioned) that is only YOURS can make you feel like an individual, and not just a mom/wife/daughter/sister.

sometimes we just need to feel like OURSELVES by OURSELVES.

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

Oh, I so know what you mean. I have wanted a place of my very own for -- oh -- 22 years now...maybe one of these days...

I'm actually working at setting up part of the master bedroom to make it mine, just mine, all mine, but I have a feeling it won't stay that way for long.

rubbish said...

I've got my own little space, it's called the dog house. I find myself there most weekends. It's really peaceful because no one talks to you. I love it.

maitlandmommy AKA Sheri said...

God. Let's see - i don't think you want to hear what came out of my mouth when i got up early (for "me" time) before the boys were supposed to be up and here comes Thing 1 bounding 'round the corner. JIMINY XMAS! JUST.5.FREAKIN.MINUTES. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK AT 6 IN THE FREAKIN'MORNING???? and yea, i was supposed to be doing devotion - the fine christian woman that i am turned into a scream fest. bad mommy.

Ellen Stewart (aka Ellie/El) said...

Jesus said, Come to Me and I will give you rest. This weekend we learned through a message in church that the original meaning of rest is really restoration.

I gotta say, being married for the last two years after being single for over 19 has been an adjustment. I have no alone time. So, when I'm in the car, I talk to God, I never race to get anywhere (well usually I don't), and He restores me. We chat.

I don't know that I could do that with a Rosary and a cheat sheet though.

Try the book, All I Need is Jesus and a Great Pair of Jeans for more on that subject.

Tomorrow, I will pray for you to find and savor moments of peace.

Rima said...

I'm making our second floor loft "my own" by putting a small desk there and then I'm going to doll it up a la Antrhopologie! It's not very private, but it will be my space and it will be pink!!! We actually have a study that I could use, but it's so . . . masculine.

P.S. For a little while this summer, I was getting up early and praying/meditating with my cup of coffee in our sun room. It was really nice and I felt as though I was making progress spiritually, but then I got lazy and started sleeping in again.

Neil said...

You know, I think a lot of people use the bathroom as "their place" because it is the one area where you know no one is going to bother you. I get my best ideas in the shower.

The Urban Cowboy said...

I have always, that is until recently, had a room where I could simply relax and reflect. Now that I think of it...I really miss having a 'get a way' room.

WackyMummy said...

Thanks for visiting my space.

This is an interesting question. In an 800 sq ft house I share with my preschooler son, there is no space to call one's own. My bedroom is a storage room in addition to a sleeping place, which my son inevitably joins me in the wee hours of the morning. His bedroom is where he falls asleep (and then later abandons) and right now is the storage room for a mostly unused bed, his toys, and his clothes.

So that leaves... parts of the kitchen and here... my blog: http://wackymummy.blogspot.com

All visitors welcome. It's lonely at times. Just be sure to leave your mark so I know it's used and appreciated.

Happy weekend!

BlondeMomBlog (Jamie) said...

I don't have this space at home either. Right now my 4-year-old is playing dress up and asking me, "You know those green persons? I wanted to play that on your computer."

Sigh...

My getaway space would have WIFI so I could have my own workspace at home but it would also have a little workout corner with a state-of-the art treadmill and flat panel TV and cool music and a little fridge and some fun artwork and frilly lamps and maybe a big comfy chaise.

p.s. I find myself praying a lot in the car when I'm alone FINALLY! ;)

Rachel H. Evans said...

LOVE the blog! Just added it to my reader.

I have an entire room that is just for me. I painted it my favorite color, filled it with my favorite books, got my filing cabinets all organized, made it look like a real office, and mounted a "vision board" above my desk, just like Oprah said....

And I never go in there.

It's too quiet.

I work from the dining room table instead1

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