Shark Boy is 7, which is a border age, a cusp, if you will. At his 7th birthday party P noted how all the boys ran around with blasters and sabers and swords battling each other, and then all slept with their stuffed animals and blankies.
This is played out in small ways in our conversations, where his thinking is a jumble of childish and grown-up concepts.
Like his thoughts on Christmas and Procreation, for example.
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Driving in to work, Shark Boy told me he had seen a bunch of things at Toys R Us with his dad the other day that he really wants to put on his Christmas list.
"What were some of the things you wanted?" I was prepared to make mental notes.
"Well, one was a Star Wars Clone Tank! But it's $99 and I don't think my dad can afford that, so I'm asking for it for Christmas because Christmas is, you know, free."
And I laughed and laughed. And laughed.
And he was all "What? What'd I say?"
Sensitivity to budget considerations + the certain existence of Santa's elves = seven.
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Also in the car, out of the blue, he asked me how babies get out of the mom.WHAT the WHAT? I'm driving here!
He only could think of two ways for the baby to come out and ew, that can't be true, right?
I took a deep breath and told him girls have a third, special, "opening," "down there," and it's
Then I held my breath, waiting. Waiting for the "Well, how'd it get in there?" The last time this came up he was 4 and I stuck with God. God gives every Mommy a special seed that grows a baby in there.
Wait. Did I say we had a special egg? Seed or egg? OMG I can't remember and kids never forget this stuff! He'll know if I say it wrong. Will he even still take just that, or will he want to know more? I can't do this while I'm driving!
He basically only said ew again and dropped it. The ball is officially in P's court. I've covered the general exit procedure and I'm not doing the entrance stuff. I plan to tell him that is for boys and their fathers to discuss. (Which will seem weird what with it being ostensibly a question about girls and babies. To that my response will be - "Son, you think that seems weird. You ain't heard nothing yet.")
18 Fabulous People Comment:
Those questions always make me giggle when I hear my daughter say 'EWE! That's gross' - all I can hope for is that she will continue to think that when she gets older. ;)
Cute Story
~K
oh, oh, oh....that is SO true---that dichotomy between grown up sensibilities and total faith in Santa and his elves....my seven year old told me he's going to ask Santa for a laptop and when I remonstrated he collapsed into tears, "but mom the elves MAKE everything....why doesn't anybody BELIEVE me?" I hugged him and kissed him and told him he was my sweet pea because really....what else could I say?
Sandwich- this issue, in the last year or two that they believe, is my only little hesitation with the whole Santa Claus thing.
Sandwich- this issue, in the last year or two that they believe, is my only little hesitation with the whole Santa Claus thing.
Oh dear I am so not ready for those talks. I nearly tell my kids about Santa every year but I always chicken out.
Apparently my mom told me how babies get in but not how they get out, because at an embarrassingly old age--like 10--I still thought every woman had to be cut open to get the baby out. Because surely a baby can't fit through "there"... ha!
Same way over here. In 2nd grade my youngest told me what he was going to ask for from Santa because it would cost anything. Then this year at the start of 3rd grade he got the Talk with Dad and two older brothers were there for moral support.
I think you handled it well! I had a similar conversation with V-meister about a year ago and, like Shark Boy, she stopped short of asking how they actually get IN THERE. Phew!
Oh that is all priceless stuff. You did good! And he sounds like such a cutie-pie!
OMG...I've covered the general exit procedure and I'm not doing the entrance stuff.
HA HA HA!
Miss A knows women have eggs. One day she had a tummy ache and informed me her baby was growing and I told her she had to be grown up and married to have a baby grow in her tummy. HA!
Both of the boys have had the exit question. They actually had no reaction which was comforting. The whole time though I was praying "Do not ask how the baby gets in there!" I don't mind telling them, but not yet, please!
I completely see boys on a cusp. Fighting with light sabers and swords being so brave and tough. Then someone accidentally turns off the light and there are screams of terror as if someone is being abducted.
Heehee...when pregnant with my now, 7yo, my older two were quite obsessed with how she was going to get out. I explained the "special 3rd opening" and how it stretches like a rubber band to let the baby come out etc. I prayed that they would ask how it got there- but my son finally had to ask..so, I gave an honest, yet still very vague and sanitized explanation of how that happens. He responded "that's disgusting!" I sighed, "I know... but someday, youre wife will make you do it so you can have a baby..." Is that bad?
I meant, "I prayed that they would NOT ask"
Oh yeah- and the official word im my home where the kids are 7, 10 and 12, is that Santa does in fact exist, but only btings gifts to those who believe in him (wink wink, 12yo) and whenever one of their wiseacre friends tries to tell us how they saw their Dad wrapping Santa gifts or some such other "evidence" to the contrary, I simply remind them that Santa only brings gifts to "good" boys and girls and point out that they must be on the "naughty" list, and their parents just don't have the heart to tell them... is that bad?
Ya know, after today, I think having this conversation with Gaby would be easy.
On one of my rare jaunts out, we went to the grocery store. As I'm standing in the aisle trying to choose between regular diced tomatoes and petite cut diced tomatoes, at the top of her lungs, Gaby yells...
"My mommy has a vagina!!!"
She already knows girls have vaginas and boys have penises. And from now on Gareth can take her to the store so that everyone knows which one he has. Seems only fair.
And as far as babies and all that? I figure if I keep her away from pregnant women as long as possible, I'm cool...I hope.
I'm not planning to touch this one. That's Daddy Territory, as far as I'm concerned.
P.S. The concern for his dad's budget is SUPER sweet.
Oh if only Christmas was free. If only. Don't worry, with time he'll learn to appreciate Christmas budget considerations.
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